allergy season
the purple lilac//first love
I have a small photo book from the dollar store. In each of the flimsy sleeves, six-year-old me placed a leaf or flower I found pretty that day. For years, I would open that book and admire a dandelion or two. For years, the color didn’t fade. But eventually, I forgot about it.
Sometimes, a relationship (platonic, romantic, or familial) is for life. Most of the time, relationships are for a season. While love, affection, and care might last forever, the intimate knowledge of a person from daily living and shared experiences fades over time. I don’t think those “seasonal” connections are worthless, although the ending can bring about a unique grief.
Recently, I found my old photo book and noticed that each carefully pressed wildflower was hopelessly faded. Maybe if I had more knowledge of proper pressing technique or been more diligent in upkeep, the colors would have stayed vibrant. Maybe if I had looked at it daily, I wouldn’t have noticed the fading. Or maybe childlike attachment will always be replaced by worldly tunnel vision.
Nevertheless, the colors are gone. Some of the flowers were never beautiful to begin with. Some of the leaves were the prettiest I’d ever seen. When I removed what was once so precious to me, there was a stain left behind for each. The photo book was forever changed—with some stains more beautiful or vibrant than others.
For the first chapter of April, I picked a handful of purple lilacs for our friends and loves that forever marked a chapter of our lives.
credits:
mixing/mastering by HONEYVERB RECORDS
the purple lilac//first love
I have a small photo book from the dollar store. In each of the flimsy sleeves, six-year-old me placed a leaf or flower I found pretty that day. For years, I would open that book and admire a dandelion or two. For years, the color didn’t fade. But eventually, I forgot about it.
Sometimes, a relationship (platonic, romantic, or familial) is for life. Most of the time, relationships are for a season. While love, affection, and care might last forever, the intimate knowledge of a person from daily living and shared experiences fades over time. I don’t think those “seasonal” connections are worthless, although the ending can bring about a unique grief.
Recently, I found my old photo book and noticed that each carefully pressed wildflower was hopelessly faded. Maybe if I had more knowledge of proper pressing technique or been more diligent in upkeep, the colors would have stayed vibrant. Maybe if I had looked at it daily, I wouldn’t have noticed the fading. Or maybe childlike attachment will always be replaced by worldly tunnel vision.
Nevertheless, the colors are gone. Some of the flowers were never beautiful to begin with. Some of the leaves were the prettiest I’d ever seen. When I removed what was once so precious to me, there was a stain left behind for each. The photo book was forever changed—with some stains more beautiful or vibrant than others.
For the first chapter of April, I picked a handful of purple lilacs for our friends and loves that forever marked a chapter of our lives.
credits:
mixing/mastering by HONEYVERB RECORDS
lyrics:
I was 21 then tasting you and taking shots
And it’s two years later and I’m still in shock
That I fell in love, bright eyed, star crossed
And I couldn’t keep you while I was feeling so lost
What we had wasn’t special, it wasn’t rare, but it was ours
And though it lasted for a moment, I’ll always cherish my first love
Because I learned about myself
About my fears, and my wants
And I learned how to love someone
When i’m not feeling loved
Just another pressed between the pages of my life
Another sweet memory that’ll fade with time
A few good laughs, some melancholy nights
Another pressed between the pages of my life
You left with winter
‘Cuz you can’t stand the cold
While i was left at the window
Searching the snow for your shadow
We traded milk for the moon
And the sun for the stars
Now all we have left are fading regrets and healing scars
And my dreams show me what’s really true
Despite the time, despite the words
I’m not free from you
Sometimes when I sneeze, I see gardens and firelight
But the July breeze blew away my melancholy nights
I was 21 then tasting you and taking shots
And it’s two years later and I’m still in shock
That I fell in love, bright eyed, star crossed
And I couldn’t keep you while I was feeling so lost
What we had wasn’t special, it wasn’t rare, but it was ours
And though it lasted for a moment, I’ll always cherish my first love
Because I learned about myself
About my fears, and my wants
And I learned how to love someone
When i’m not feeling loved
Just another pressed between the pages of my life
Another sweet memory that’ll fade with time
A few good laughs, some melancholy nights
Another pressed between the pages of my life
You left with winter
‘Cuz you can’t stand the cold
While i was left at the window
Searching the snow for your shadow
We traded milk for the moon
And the sun for the stars
Now all we have left are fading regrets and healing scars
And my dreams show me what’s really true
Despite the time, despite the words
I’m not free from you
Sometimes when I sneeze, I see gardens and firelight
But the July breeze blew away my melancholy nights