turn the valve
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In a scene from the Korean drama Our Beloved Summer, Yeon-soo sneaks into the bathroom late at night, turns on the sink, and starts to cry, believing that the sound of running water will drown out her sobs. It’s a poignant, relatable, and utterly human moment that inspired this song.
The round in this song is meant to mimic echos reverberating off of tiles and the voices in our head questioning the authenticity of emotions, identity, and reality itself.
If I don’t acknowledge sadness, does it exist?
If I don’t face it, did it actually happen?
I tend to “turn the valve” and let sounds, sights, and experiences drown out the numbness, anxiety, or depression I feel. It’s so scary to “turn the valve” and allow myself to feel and express whatever I’m feeling. I’m scared that I’ll be trapped and overwhelmed, and if I share how I feel with others, they’ll be overwhelmed and burdened.
I look back at different times in my life, and I wish they said something. I look back at different times in my life, and I wish I said something.
I released this song because today, September 10, is World Suicide Prevention Day, and September is National Suicide Prevention Month. Don’t wait to tell someone, and don’t wait to ask someone how they’re doing.
It’s later revealed in Our Beloved Summer that Yeon-soo’s halmeoni (grandmother) heard her each time she cried in the bathroom. Yeon-soo’s tears were heard, even if she didn’t acknowledge them herself. Our feelings are real. Our thoughts are real.
If you are struggling, talk to someone. There are options available to help. Call or text #988, or chat at 988lifeline.org, to speak to someone and get immediate support.
listen on spotify
listen on apple music
listen on youtube
In a scene from the Korean drama Our Beloved Summer, Yeon-soo sneaks into the bathroom late at night, turns on the sink, and starts to cry, believing that the sound of running water will drown out her sobs. It’s a poignant, relatable, and utterly human moment that inspired this song.
The round in this song is meant to mimic echos reverberating off of tiles and the voices in our head questioning the authenticity of emotions, identity, and reality itself.
If I don’t acknowledge sadness, does it exist?
If I don’t face it, did it actually happen?
I tend to “turn the valve” and let sounds, sights, and experiences drown out the numbness, anxiety, or depression I feel. It’s so scary to “turn the valve” and allow myself to feel and express whatever I’m feeling. I’m scared that I’ll be trapped and overwhelmed, and if I share how I feel with others, they’ll be overwhelmed and burdened.
I look back at different times in my life, and I wish they said something. I look back at different times in my life, and I wish I said something.
I released this song because today, September 10, is World Suicide Prevention Day, and September is National Suicide Prevention Month. Don’t wait to tell someone, and don’t wait to ask someone how they’re doing.
It’s later revealed in Our Beloved Summer that Yeon-soo’s halmeoni (grandmother) heard her each time she cried in the bathroom. Yeon-soo’s tears were heard, even if she didn’t acknowledge them herself. Our feelings are real. Our thoughts are real.
If you are struggling, talk to someone. There are options available to help. Call or text #988, or chat at 988lifeline.org, to speak to someone and get immediate support.
lyrics:
I turn the valve
Let the water pour out
Are the tears real if I can’t hear them myself?
And the rain
At least it matches the day
Better yet, it hides the water already on my face
I turn the valve
Let the water pour out
Are the fears real if I don’t know them myself?
And the cold
At least it matches the mood
Better yet, it hides the numbness that’s filling up my head
I turn the valve
Let the water pour out
Are the tears real if I can’t hear them myself?
Are the tears real if I can’t see them myself?
Are the tears real if I can’t feel them myself?
I turn the valve
Let the water pour out
Are the scars real if I can’t see them myself?
Are the scars real if I can’t feel them myself?
Are the scars real if I can’t clean them myself?
I turn the valve
Let the water pour out
Am I real if I don’t know myself?
Am I real if I don’t feel like myself?
Am I real if I run from myself?
I turn the valve
Let the water pour out
The tears are real,
I can feel them myself.
I turn the valve
Let the water pour out
Are the tears real if I can’t hear them myself?
And the rain
At least it matches the day
Better yet, it hides the water already on my face
I turn the valve
Let the water pour out
Are the fears real if I don’t know them myself?
And the cold
At least it matches the mood
Better yet, it hides the numbness that’s filling up my head
I turn the valve
Let the water pour out
Are the tears real if I can’t hear them myself?
Are the tears real if I can’t see them myself?
Are the tears real if I can’t feel them myself?
I turn the valve
Let the water pour out
Are the scars real if I can’t see them myself?
Are the scars real if I can’t feel them myself?
Are the scars real if I can’t clean them myself?
I turn the valve
Let the water pour out
Am I real if I don’t know myself?
Am I real if I don’t feel like myself?
Am I real if I run from myself?
I turn the valve
Let the water pour out
The tears are real,
I can feel them myself.