NO MAMA! (2018)
listen on spotify
listen on apple music
watch on youtube
I wrote this when I was 19 years old. I had cut off all my hair into a pixie in defiance of well something (?)
NO MAMA! was only performed live, and I lost the recording!! The original version of NO MAMA! had only a guitar, cajon, and piano, but any song written by me is always written with the intention of voice layering. I had a recording of the first run through in a practice room and added it to the beginning (so you can hear 19 y/o me starting the song). I think the lyrics are so cringy (ugh) but it was an important step in my songwriting journey. It's also literally the hardest song vocally that I've written, and I will probably never write a song that has this range again.
watch
listen
lyrics:
When I was young, I had a dream that a prince would come and I’d go happily
Well, I’m still young but there ain’t nobody
But I’m still a queen, and I don’t need some boy to come and save me
No mama! I ain’t no doll
I ain’t no plaything
So what?
I’m a star on my own
No pieces are missing
Can’t buy my worth with flowers or compliments
I’m thirsting for the Kingdom
Beauty is fleeting, but I ain’t fleeing
The future ain’t mine- no fearing
I’m longing for a meal that fulfills
My hungry soul craves bread and tears
I see the stars and an empty bed
But I’m still a queen, and I know that no one else can satisfy me
listen on spotify
listen on apple music
watch on youtube
I wrote this when I was 19 years old. I had cut off all my hair into a pixie in defiance of well something (?)
NO MAMA! was only performed live, and I lost the recording!! The original version of NO MAMA! had only a guitar, cajon, and piano, but any song written by me is always written with the intention of voice layering. I had a recording of the first run through in a practice room and added it to the beginning (so you can hear 19 y/o me starting the song). I think the lyrics are so cringy (ugh) but it was an important step in my songwriting journey. It's also literally the hardest song vocally that I've written, and I will probably never write a song that has this range again.
watch
listen
lyrics:
When I was young, I had a dream that a prince would come and I’d go happily
Well, I’m still young but there ain’t nobody
But I’m still a queen, and I don’t need some boy to come and save me
No mama! I ain’t no doll
I ain’t no plaything
So what?
I’m a star on my own
No pieces are missing
Can’t buy my worth with flowers or compliments
I’m thirsting for the Kingdom
Beauty is fleeting, but I ain’t fleeing
The future ain’t mine- no fearing
I’m longing for a meal that fulfills
My hungry soul craves bread and tears
I see the stars and an empty bed
But I’m still a queen, and I know that no one else can satisfy me
No I’m not looking for some fun and one and done
And I’m not gonna hate this body given by the One
Yeah I’m a work in progress, but it’s a masterpiece
And no romance is going to make me feel like I’m complete
bonus... here’s what I initially wrote as an intro to no mama in 2018:
Not actually directed to my mother okay!! This song is about two things: idolizing romantic relationships and beauty standards (esp those influenced by colonialism). When I was growing up (& now lol), I really struggled with loving how I looked. I was Filipino in a white community, who didn’t “look” Filipino. I was always told that I should be happy that I’m paler and taller than my stereotype. I would try lighter foundations, watch makeup tutorials on how to make your eyes look bigger and rounder, wear tight-fitting clothes, and I was just terrified that I would be that one Asian girl. I never dated in school, partly because I knew I would only date someone for an ego boost, partly because no one was actually interested, and partly because I was terrified that if someone was interested, it was because I was “exotic.” So, flash forward to now. I’m almost 20, still single, still coveting and idolizing a romantic relationship. But now I put on sunscreen, because I don’t want skin cancer. If I do wear makeup, it isn’t to impress anyone nor do I try to hide my Asian features. I no longer buy into the “you’re my other half” and “you complete me” ideas. If I stay single for ever, great, if I date, that’s fine too, but I’ve been filled with the greatest gift, given living water, and will never thirst again. I live in the present, but I’m looking past the future to that time when I’m in a perfect relationship for eternity.
And I’m not gonna hate this body given by the One
Yeah I’m a work in progress, but it’s a masterpiece
And no romance is going to make me feel like I’m complete
bonus... here’s what I initially wrote as an intro to no mama in 2018:
Not actually directed to my mother okay!! This song is about two things: idolizing romantic relationships and beauty standards (esp those influenced by colonialism). When I was growing up (& now lol), I really struggled with loving how I looked. I was Filipino in a white community, who didn’t “look” Filipino. I was always told that I should be happy that I’m paler and taller than my stereotype. I would try lighter foundations, watch makeup tutorials on how to make your eyes look bigger and rounder, wear tight-fitting clothes, and I was just terrified that I would be that one Asian girl. I never dated in school, partly because I knew I would only date someone for an ego boost, partly because no one was actually interested, and partly because I was terrified that if someone was interested, it was because I was “exotic.” So, flash forward to now. I’m almost 20, still single, still coveting and idolizing a romantic relationship. But now I put on sunscreen, because I don’t want skin cancer. If I do wear makeup, it isn’t to impress anyone nor do I try to hide my Asian features. I no longer buy into the “you’re my other half” and “you complete me” ideas. If I stay single for ever, great, if I date, that’s fine too, but I’ve been filled with the greatest gift, given living water, and will never thirst again. I live in the present, but I’m looking past the future to that time when I’m in a perfect relationship for eternity.